Learning From My Past:
As the days pass slowly And the weeks creep by I find myself obsessing About ways that I could die. I lay awake at night Thinking of pain. There's no way it can get better; I have nothing left to gain. Suddenly thoughts of death Are controlling my every move, And everey battle with my mind I always seem to lose. I no longer want to be around The people that I love. All that I can think about Is what's waiting up above. I cut my arms with razor blades To dull the pain inside, But that can only last so long; I don't want to be alive. I manage to keep my composure When people are around. They wouldn't understand me So I don't make a sound. I smile when I have to. I break down when I don't. I know I should be strong, But I also know I won't. So I make a plan to take some pills. It shouldn't take too long. I write out notes to all my friends To read when I am gone. I ask my mom to understand That life is just too hard. My mind can't fight it antmore; My heart is far too scarred. I plan it out so perfectly I even set date. I'm pretty sure I'm ready; I know this is my fate. My bed is made up nearly As I take them one by one. I start to feel a little scared; I know I'm almost done. All that I can think about Is how I'm letting go, And how much I love my family. I really hope they know. My eyes are getting heavy. My body feels so weak. Everything inside is numb. That's the way it has to be. I'm glad that Mom's not here right now To watch me slowly die, But still I wish that I could say, "I love you and good-bye." I give in to the darkness. I slowly slip away. I hope I go to heaven Where dark nigh turns to day. I wake up in confusion, I don't know where I am. Is this heaven, or is it hell, The land of the eternally damned? There are people all around Although I can barely see, I can hear the soothing voices Of people dear to me. My family and friends are here Comforting one another. I can hardly make out any words Until I hear my mother. Each tear she cries feels like a knife Stabbing at my soul. I let my pain and suffering Blind me from my goal. At one point I was determined To make it through this test, To lead a life of fulfillment And to do my very best. But I somehow lost all sight of that. I hope she can forgive. I promise not o waste My second chance to live. I sit up in my hospital bed Tears streaming down my cheeks. My mother rushes over crying Like she hasn't seen me in weeks. I tell her that I'm sorry For causing her so much strife. I tell her that I will succeed In leading a better life. Together we figured out a way For me to get some help. I know that I can go to her Instead of doing it myself. I know that it's not over yet; It's a long road up ahead, But I appreciate the little things Because I could be dead. I've learned to live each passing day As if it were my last. I look forward o the future And I'm learning from my past. -Rachel Bennett Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul Another Statistic:
I don't want to be another statistic Some suicidal teen Who makes a choice to kill herself When the world just seems too mean. She can't go on with life Or so to her it seems Reality has fallen short And so have many dreams. I don't want to be another statistic Some pregnant little girl Who met this great guy And then gave sex a whirl. She was only fifteen But it felt so right She thought they'd be together For more than just a night. I don't want to be another statistic Some kid strung on crack Who started at a party And now he can't turn back. First cigarettes and alcohol Now meth, crack and cocaine He's been smoking it so long That now he's gone insane. I don't want to be another statistic Some girl left in the rain Who was walking home from school Then raped and left in pain. She can't tell her parents And it hurts to tell her friends She doesn't know what she'll do To make this nightmare end. I don't want to be another statistic Some kid out of school Who dropped out really early And was acting like a fool. He thought that it was boring He thought that it was dumb He doesn't have an education But lives on the streets like a bum. I don't want to be another statistic Some stereotypical teen I'm gonna make a difference I'll finish my dream. I won't end up pregnant On drugs or even dead I won't drop out of school Because I'll use my head. I don't want to be another statistic To fit into some mold Of what society thinks of kids today Because it's getting kind of old. Not all of us are baf In fact most of us are good When will the world see us And give us credit like they should? - Amanda Parmenter- Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Insides:
Bottled up inside are the words I never said the feelings that I hide the lines you never read. You can see it in my eyes read it on my face trapped inside are lies of the past I can't replace. With memories that linger ____ won't seem to go away why can't I be happier? Today's a brand new day. Yesterdays are over even though the hurting's not nothing lasts forever I must cherrish what I've got. Don't take my love for granted for soon it will be gone all you ever wanted of the love you thought you'd won. The hurt I'm feeling now won't disappear overnight but someday, somehow everything will turn out all right. No more wishing for the past it wasn't meant to be It didn't seem to last so I have to set him free. -Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul I Need You Now:
My friend I need you now please take me by the hand stand by me in my hour of need take time to understand. Take my hand, dear friend and lead me from this place chase away my doubts and fears wipe the tears from off my face. Friend I cannot stand alone I need your hand to hold the warmth of your gentle touch in my world that's grown so cold. Please be a friend to me and hold me day by day because with your loving hand in mine I know we'll find a way. -Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul Love:
The heart is not a play thing The heart is not a toy. But if you want it broken Just give it to a boy. Boys, they love to play with things To see what makes them run. But when it comes to kissing They do it just for fun. Boys, they never give their hearts away They play girls just like fools. They will wait till we give our hearts Then they'll play it cool. You will wonder where he is at night You will wonder if he is really true. One moment you'll be happy One moment you'll be blue. If you get a chance to see him Your heart begins to dance. Your life revolves around him Their is nothing like romance. And then it starts to happen You worry night and day. You see girl, you're losing him It never turns out just right. Boys are great but immature The price you'll pay is very high. He may seem sweet and gorgeous But remember he is a guy. Don't fall in-love with a "boy" It takes a lot of nerve. You see girl, you need a "man" To get what you deserve. So before you fall in-love be careful if you can. Before you give your heart away make sure he is a man. Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul |
That Warm Night:
I was invited to a party, A few roads across town. I thought I'd meet my friends there, But they were not around. So I hopped into my beat-up-car, Ready for adventure. My mom came racing to my door, I was ready for my lecture. Instead she told me softly, To be careful that warm night. I promised her that I'd drive safe, That everything would be all right. I arrived at the location, And accepted a small drink. I didn't really want it, But I didn't stop to think. Soon I was gulping cocktails, feeling lighter with each sip. And I felt so free, invincible, As I swallowed the last drip. The room was spinning freely, As I danced across the floor. And I wondered why I hadn't ever drank this much before. Then, despite my happiness and fun, My head began to ache. I found my car keys in my purse, Cause my brain was going to break. I stumbled across the gardens, Unlocked my old beat up car. Started up the engine, headed across town once more. But something tragic happened, I didn't see the light. I didn't see the people, either, crossing that warm night. As I slid across the pavement, I knew my time had come. My head just kept on spinning, All this for just some fun. The next moments wer qui hazy, As lay mangled in the car. Pain shooting through my body, Never thought it did go this far. Heard sirens in the background, rushing to my aid. But as I closed my tired eyes, I knew it was too late. As I saw the world below me, My heart just filled with dread. I saw the people that I hit, and knew that they were dead. I cried so hard on that warm night, as I floated through the sky. Knowing that it was my fault, and I never even said GOOD-BYE. Now I'm floating up to heaven, where I really don't belong. Brought so much pain to others, Did something really wrong. I killed six happy people, four kids, a man and wife. And I'm lying in a coffin, because I lost my precious life. I see my mother's upset face, her eyes so filled with tears. 'This wasn't supposed to happen, this is exactly what I feared'. I was just a normal teen, who had to much to drink. I had boyfriend, did well in school, But that warm night I didn't think. So the next time you're invited to a party with your friends, PLEASE remember this could be the night when it could end. I learned all this the hard way, and I did, and drink as much as you can take. I had so much before me, a great future straight ahead. I wanted to be a potetry writer But I can't because I'M DEAD. It happened all so quickly, didn't even get to fight. Didn't know how fast my life could end, I'll always remember that warm night. -Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul Have you Ever?:
Have you ever lived my life? Spent one minute in my shoes? If you haven't then tell me why, You judge me as you do. Have you ever woken up in the morning Wondering if this was yuor last day on Earth? Have you ever left your house Unsure if you'd return? Have you ever seen your friend get shot Outside his favorite store? Have you ever seen a friend die From drugs he'd never used before? Have you ever seen your mom get beat up By your step dad messed up on booze? Have you ever had an unwanted pregnancy Forcing you to choose? Have you ever sat beneath the stars Hoping God will hear? Have you ever seen your friend drive away After way too many beers? Have you ever had a friend Experiment with weed? Have you ever covered up guilt By doing a good deed? Have you ever considered suicide As the only way? Have you ever tried to hide yourself Behind the things you say? Have you ever wanted to protect Your friends and everyone in sight? Have you ever felt such pain That you cried yourself to sleep at night? Have you ever lived my life, Spent one minute in my shoes? If you haven't, then tell me why You judge me as you do. -Chicken Sou For The Teenage Soul Practical Application:
He's teaching her arithmetic he said it was his mission he kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "now that's addition!" And as he added smack by smack in silent satisfaction she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "now that's subtraction!" Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation and both together smiled and said "that's multiplication!" Then dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision he kicked that boy 3 blocks away and said, "That's long division!" -Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul Wonder To Me:
Wonder to me, is the worst place to be. Situations get complex You're afraid of what's next. Starting over fresh and brand new stepping in another shoe. Wondering how you'll turn out having all sorts of doubt. Turning over a new leaf sometimes wanting to leave... Sometimes do!! Wonder To Me Part 2:
Wonder to me is a good place to be. It helps you to think it helps you to see. life's full of twists and turns will abound. But wonder and insight can guide you around. Explore what you may and fill up your mind. And hold in your heart the mysteries you find. Wonder is only saying you yearn. To know and select the things that you learn. And making a choice in which way you turn the best path you take will always be right. 'Cause if you were wrong you can make it right Each new step you take when you listen and hear. Will give you more courage and freedom from fear. So wonder my child rid of your doubt. And you will rejoice with how you turn out. Although you may fall and struggle too. Know that I've always been there and will always love you. -Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul If You're Askin:
If you're askin if I need you, The answer is forever! If you're askin if I'll leave you, The answer is never! If you're askin what I value, The answer is you! If you're askin if I love you, That answer is I DO! |